My other blogs

Check out my other blogs, if you like this one!
ArthurianRomances.com
(The World pertaining to King Arthur)

LoveOfWords.net
(Great Words, Quotes, & Wit)

1tbh.wordpress.com
(Too be honest…)

Have a fantastic Saturday wherever you are in the world!

All My Best,
Jill
🙂

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Jill M Roberts’ Castle in the Sky

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~Castle in the Sky~

In the summer of my days,
I sit alone on a chaise in the bedroom.
Clothes draped,
Books as cue,
And my chest heavy from my burdens.
How will this all end?
The inevitable question.

Deemed to be alone forever?
I dare not to consider this.
Suppose, is to assume I’ve lost heart.
For not is my will to strive for passion.
He’s somewhere I have not looked.
I agreed to be found
But stuck in a labyrinth to test my fate.
At the door he awaits to seize me
And share me with no other.

I am aware of the existence of love.
The love that is already all around me;
Yet it does not come easy.
The sun strikes the afternoon position.
I lie upon my chaise and fall into slumber
Like a potion has been ingested.

My lover calls to me,
In my castle in the sky.
I try to run to him,
The fog is too thick
I cannot be seen.
I move to the sweet sound of his voice.
There is a gate in the mists.
I cannot gain access.
I try and fall.
Though I persist.
I yearn to be with him.
I must find him
He ought to reveal his identity.

I see a vague figure,
Far beyond the gate.
I cry out to him
Pleading to let me in.
My heart pounds so hard
It leaves ringing in my ears.
My veins pulsate with adrenaline
My stomach hatching butterflies.
He starts toward me
“Yes!” I think,
Soon he’ll be revealed to me.
As he ascends from the entrance hall,
I begin to be pulled back.
Quickly blinded and yanked away.
“No!” I scream,
But he doesn’t seem to hear me.
I try to grab onto the gate,
My hands slipping,
I cannot take hold.
He is becoming farther and further away.

And then my eyes open.
It is then,
I realize it was just a dream.
He is lost to me
Forever.
Out of breath I seize the glass.
Gasping,
I take a sip
Then smash it against the fireplace.
With my head in my hands
I look up;
Panting and yearning
To be free.

The Dew That Rests Upon the Grass at Dawn

The dew that rests
upon the grass at dawn
Gives way to a day
starting anew.
The flowers
brim with enthusiasm
As the sun gleams
A new breath for them.

The trees sigh
while providing cover.
A Weeping Willow
Calling on a song.
The birds sing
Melodiously for it.
Revelation and relief come.
Happy to fly
And flying is happiness.
For the birds have answers.

By noon,
The sand is boiling
Finding relief with the surf.
All kinds of creatures
Use it as concrete.
Without cognitive awareness.
The water is joyous.
It has it’s ebb and flow.
There is order there.
Continuity infinitely.

Losing Innocence

~ Losing Innocence ~
Why do we risk it all for love?
No matter how exquisite,
Passionate, wonderful it is,
We lose;
Always.
Whether we part for differences or in death,
We lose;
Always.
No matter how much we try to hold on,
Change ourselves or our other,
Govern and protect the relationship,
We lose;
Always.

Thus, why do we do it?
We do it for the moments that will reside with us,
Always.
For the craze and lust.
The fury,
The fervor,
The obsession, infatuation, excitement.
For the zeal, enthusiasm, passion.
We do it for us;
To penetrate over into,
Our partner.

Me and You,
We wanted it all.
None of the pain,
Just the good stuff.
Well, we had it.
The good, the lovely.
What a surprise!
But then,
As Always,
We lost.

We lost ourselves,
Our way.
The rhythm and balance
We perfected.
How did we not see it coming?
Stumbling on to a new realm.
One in which we operate alone.
The composition wrecked.
We smashed into that brick wall.
Afraid to leave,
Co-dependent.
I knew you wanted out.
Maybe a break?
You opposed it.
We could not come back from it.
I could feel the coming loss.
But not in the way I expected.

A trip!
To get us back.
The excitement could mend us.
It did for 72 hours.
Then the ultimate force of depature
Came upon.
In a small elegant English hotel,
You died in my arms
On a Saturday morning in London.
Thirty five hundred miles away from home.

The initial shock blasted my mind and body.
The detonation of torment pierced my soul.
Unadulterated suffering terrorised.
I lost my equilibrium and steadiness.
Embarking in an unknown world,
Where the dwellers seethe with agony.
A spot was saved for me there,
Where fumes suffocate.
A Hell on Earth
Where Innocence is Lost.

Stillness

Please don’t break me, Dear God.
I cannot endure another blow.
I’ve been resilient in the debacles,
I have survived it all.
I did not perish
Though, the walls of my heart are now paper thin.
I outlived the cancer and the death of my dearest.
Outsiders proclaim my strength;
However I am feverishly weak.

Knowing it hasn’t quite bottomed out,
There could be more.
Faith and faculty tried.
Entering an unknown domain
Where there is still further to go.
There needn’t be more pain.
Swallowing more will impact my soul.

Continued existence depends on stillness.
I need stillness for my soul.

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One Life

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1-5-08
I sit and await the anniversary of the terror;
The abhorrent morning that I woke to another world.
A world where you cease to exist in mine.
That morning will reside with me always,
Wherever I am or Whatever I do.

Awaking to the awful sound
Your struggling breath.
Running to your side of our bed,
Pulling you close,
Only to lose you in my arms.
Your breath left your body,
One last time.
Sleeping eyes that woke lifeless.
Hope,
Leaving my soul,
With dread and panic taking its place.
You see, it was hopeless,
I knew you were gone.
The emergency response did not have to rush.
They did their job regardless,
But to no avail.

I stood over you,
Watching and helping the revival process.
My world shattered,
I missed you already.
That moment,
When you were freed of the physical,
I became chained,
To a life of misery.
Life here without you,
A karmic debt hugely paid.

I am left now to dwell amongst the anonymous.
My head down, my heart heavy.
I wonder along the streets we walked;
Remembering everything said and shared.
You, the balance in my life,
Making it all worthwhile.
The one man who has loved me,
Unconditionally and unselfishly.
You were security,
You made everything alright.
An anesthetic, a conqueror, my protector.

You,
Died,
On a Saturday morning,
Nearing two years ago.
I,
Died,
There with you.
Both of us lost to this world,
But living in parallel universes.
Yours, a new journey,
Stepping on to the shore of Heaven,
Mine, still here,
Existing in shadows
Of the darkness of Hell.

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